The Shame Of Being Healthy

I have pondered over whether or not to give this topic my time but I decided it has to be said.

Recently on my Instagram I was told I was “painfully thin” and probably “anorexic”. This came from a person I actually really liked, then someone else chimed in more or less saying the same thing under the guise of ‘concern’. The problem is neither of these ‘concerned’ people actually ever messaged me personally to ask if I was ok, instead they chose the more exciting and dramatic public comments section to body shame me. And make no mistake, the choice to say it quietly in person, versus in public, is the one aspect that differentiates this from being concern to (very) thinly veiled body shaming. You or I, would take a person aside and ask them how they were, is there anything going on in their lives, is their weight loss deliberate, are they ok, are they happy. Countless questions and kind ways to check up on someone you are concerned about. What you wouldn’t do is take them into a crowded room and tell them in front of everyone that they’re too skinny and must surely, therefore, be anorexic. A person who would do that, I think we can all agree, is not a kind person. And making those remarks on a person’s comment section of their Instagram is the exact same thing. That’s their crowded room.

Body shaming comes in lots of different guises and it comes mostly, sadly, from other women. It can be driven by envy, anger, feelings of inadequacy, genuine disgust, hatred of themselves, countless things that actually don’t have that much or anything to do with the person they have aimed it at.

It all comes down to this - what a person wears or does to their body is their business. You don’t have to agree or like it, you can find it repulsive, you can even be baffled as to why they decide to look that way, but regardless of what your feelings are, IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

In the last 1.5 years I have gone down a dress size - literally one dress size, from a UK 10 to a UK 8 - which is back to the weight I was my whole life up until I hit perimenopause. I had no real idea how bad my diet was until I started looking at what I ate. I was really concerned about diabetes as my sugar consumption was through the roof. My gran developed the disease at my age due to her sweet tooth and I was concerned I’d go the same way. I had to address it. So I did. Very successfully. I also learned my diet was heavy on salt, which is also very dangerous. I dramatically cut that down too and it turned out most of my ‘weight’ was actually water retention because as soon as I sorted my salt intake, I dropped a lot of pounds pretty quickly.

Whether some people like it or not, I’m stronger and healthier than I have ever been in my life. I feel great. My skin is glowing in a way it literally never has and I have energy all the time. Basically, the opposite of someone who has a serious eating disorder.

Regardless of this, the simple fact is, it’s deeply irresponsible to tell someone they could have an eating disorder based on your own perceptions of how a person should look. Just because you don’t like their body or their appearance doesn’t mean you have the right to share that opinion with them. Well, you can, but I can also delete you, block you, restrict you, ignore you or tell you to fuck off.

Every woman should be able to look exactly as she pleases without trolls popping up their heads to try to bring them down. What I do to or with my body is no one’s business but mine. If I wanted to get fucking horn implants stuck in my foreheid then I’ll do it. If I wanted to give myself some massive tits then I’ll do it. If I wanted to botox the shit out of my face then I’ll do it. My face, my body, my rules. Just like its your face, your body and your rules. You do you.

The world is already a shitty place. I use my Instagram as a way to escape and share fashion and makeup. These things give me joy. What does not give me joy is people who make their business to try piss all over it and I will not tolerate it, just like I would not tolerate it in real life.

The only troll I will tolerate is the one on top of my pencil.