Dear People of the UK...

Oh Lord what a week this has been. Every day feels like a week.

Just read the following post on Jane Tiga Elliots page from a British person living in Italy.

It made me laugh and nod my head vigorously in agreement…

Dear People of the UK

You will of course be aware that Italy has taken extreme measures in the hope of slowing the spread of the Corona Virus. These are measures the UK may be forced to implement, later down the line.

As a Brit living in Italy, here are some things you need to know:

Our supermarkets HAVE STAYED OPEN. They are on slightly reduced hours and you have to queue to get in (yes, it’s a ball-ache) but they are OPEN. EVERY DAY. Deliveries continue to arrive so for fucks sake, shop like NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS!

Enforced social isolation does not mean you cannot leave your house. It means you can still leave your house for ESSENTIAL activity, like shopping. So put down the fucking pasta and toilet rolls and breathe. Now you don’t have to share a bed with your four kids because you’ve had to turn their rooms in to store cupboards for the all the pointless and selfish hoarding you are doing.

Pharmacies are still open so you DO NOT NEED 236 bottles of Calpol, 429 packets of paracetamol and 987 Tubigrips. Colds, flu, headaches, muscle pain, period pain, teething babies. They are still out there, Corona Virus or not. So, again, step away from the goods, buy what you NEED, put back what you don’t. We still have access to all basic medical needs. Again, we have to queue and observe the recommended 1M distance from others but within our community, this has been well-organised and adhered to. Suck it up. For info, the Italians do not queue or respect personal space in the way that we Brits do. If they can do it, then you fucking can too! It’s practically a national pastime!

Bakeries and butchers - still open. See points above.

Pet shops - still open. Calm it, Fido. Your nightly Dentastix is safe.

DIY shops - still open for ESSENTIAL maintenance items. I only know this because I tried to buy a cactus when I went for a new shower head, only to find non-essential aisles closed to the public. Fair enough, right?

Do me a favour. Share this around. The measures are extreme but they are not SO extreme that you need to be utter fuckers to each other.

Shop responsibly. Then go home, pour yourself a gin and celebrate the fact that your food shop is not going to take you 6 hours to put away.

And let’s be honest, on the off chance that you do contract the virus, the last fucking thing you are going to want is a big bowl of pasta, 2ltrs of Fanta and a bumper pack of fucking Morrison’s sausage rolls.

To paraphrase those old wise words used in NYPD Blue -

LET’s BE CAREFUL AND CONSIDERATE OUT THERE PEOPLE…

Queen Marie

x