And the award goes to... — KINGDOM OF STYLE

So there we go another Oscars season come and gone.

Nothing better for cheering up a miserable Monday lunchtime than looking at all the dresses on the red carpet or should I say champagne coloured carpet, which rendered some looks into total tonal washouts.

Regardless of the celebrities and the gorgeous gowns, I found myself zoning in on that totally distracting background. Surely with all the set building experience in Hollywood, they could have come up with a solution that didn’t have little Oscar cut outs appearing like a cupcake hat above on poor Andrea Riseborough or like a little devil on the shoulder of Lady Gaga below

Or how about a bright red pole coming out of the top of your head. That’s always a winning look.

Don’t know why Jessica Chastain and Jennifer Connelly look so happy about that…

Despite the pole problem, the standout dress and look for me was Danai Gurira in this black Jason Wu gown. Utterly flawless.

Things weren’t much better over at the Vanity Fair party.

Obviously my first thought on seeing Hunter Schafer was that she was wearing a collaboration between Always Ultra and Ann Demulemeester. On closer inspection it was revealed to be feather but surely to goodness someone should have had an honest word with this girl before she left the house.

My main distraction this time round was with the floor. Specifically the branded spot they get arrivals to stand on to get their shots taken. Just like a junior member of NCIS I could estimate the how early or late the ‘celebrity’ had arrived at the party by looking at the condition of it. For earlier arrivals it looked quite sharp but later on in the night, it was pockmarked and riddled with stiletto heel marks and scuffs. ..

Julia Gardner had obviously arrived pretty early doors…

But by the time Maggie Rogers got there it was looking a little worse for wear.

Apologies dear friends because now like me, you can’t unsee the red poles and the tired punctured floor graphics…

Queen Marie 🤣